You, sir, are a demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, naughty freako! [both laugh]. Hiya! Rowlf: I've been playing saloons down in Snake City for three years. Uncle Deadly: You muppets have taken over my theatre. I mean, I'm not even out here to tell jokes. Statler: Double or nothing, next week's show? [chuckles]. Kermit the Frog: What a dumb dog! Rowlf: [as Doctor Bob] Well, he couldn't have gone far. He's not on stage either. Statler: Yes, unless I get lucky and break my leg. Statler: Put it closer to the beginning. [picks up another paper] In other news, a black-and-yellow-striped mackerel was elected king this morning and... [stops and looks perplexed; Bruno runs up] Huh? Ich hab’ auf Lebzeiten im Heim ein Zimmer für verhaschte Typen, verstehst Du?" I wonder if they meant it that way. They're taking about me. Are you okay, Gonzo? Sgt. My old buddy Bert. The Newsman: [to Spike] Are you going to tell them what I just said? Uh, listen, I hate to complain, but... [clears throat]... there's a man eating my make-up table. Statler: Yeah! Waldorf: Yep, and that was nothing like it. Kermit: "OK, well, we've done a lot for the music lovers on the show, so it's time we did something for the music haters. You asked for it. I am Miss Piggy.” “Uh, listen, yellow thing. Mark Hamill: [as Luke Skywalker] Beats me, '3PO. Kermit the Frog: You can be replaced, Piggy. Rowlf: How many performances did you do in Vaudeville? I just wanted to see if I could say it. Kermit says it's a disgrace to have him around and we oughta get a new one. You know what? Loretta Swit: Aw, so come on now, let's sing a nice, warm, lovely together song. Statler: [reacting to the Luncheon Counter Monster eating a machine] Disgusting! So THAT'S what's been going on around here all night! Everyone Has A Talent - Kermit the Frog quote - $18.00, via Etsy. Scooter: Oh, so *you're* the telephone Pole! After two pilot episodes produced in 1974 and 1975 failed to get the attention of network executives in the United States, Lew Grade approached Henson to produce the program in the United Kingdom for ATV. Fozzie: New York is so crowded, even the cemeteries are standing room only. Fozzie: Hey, did you hear the one about the kangaroo that comes into a store, and a hippopotamus comes out and he says to the kanga [curtains close] HEY I WASN'T FINISHED! Floyd: "Kermit, vergiss nicht: Ich bin Floyd Pfeffer.Der hippieste der Hippies. I'm still missing a few but I'm working on it. Statler: Boy, we really look like something from the rock age! [Gonzo's stunt has been to use his bare hands to catch a cannonball fired out of a cannon]. Milton Berle: One of them... yeah, one of them. The Newsman: Muppet News Flash! Miss Piggy: I can't captain the Swinetrek looking like this, though I am kind of cute. Ernie: And here he is now, that suave and sophisticated showman. Piggy, you are fired! Fozzie Bear: Hey, I went to a resort hotel for a change and a rest. Rowlf: Will you stop with the vegetables. I really was on the Titanic. First, you stay away from sick people. Oh brother. We can have bouncing baby figs. There are so many Miss Piggy quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these Miss Piggy quotes exists just do that. Fozzie: The rhyming song, the rhyming song. [the Newsman laughs at his own joke; the conductor jams his baton in the Newsman's nose], [the conductor nods and removes his baton], [Tony Randall has found a spell that turns statues into pigs], Tony Randall: Pigskin. Rowlf the Dog: With your body, it would be donated to science fiction. Kermit the Frog: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Harry Belafonte! Miss Piggy: [turns back to Kermit sharply] No. Miss Piggy: Just a little slight exaggeration. Juliet Prowse: You mean to tell me that Paul Newman is here? Statler: Oh, no wonder! Fozzie Bear: But I didn't do an act last week. Sweetums: Nice lady not want Sweetums to hold cue cards? That's very funny! Waldorf: I think it's Lewis Carrol turning over in his grave. https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_muppet_show_quotes_107574. Rita Moreno: Kermit I was wondering if we could just forget the cue cards and just ad lib it. Rudolf Nureyev: I don't think heaven is this warm. Miss Piggy: Dr. Bob, you don't look well. The Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash. Kermit the Frog: How about kissing the next best thing? I just don't want to go. [they suddenly notice that their hands are stuck to the railings of their box seats], Statler, Waldorf: Oh, no! [looks past the camera as if reading que cards]. The Entertainer: the Star of the Show. Sometimes the crown weighs rather heavy on this little froggy head. [looks up] Mallarditis? Kermit the Frog: Fozzie, what are you doing with this typewriter on my table? Kermit: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Waldorf: [after the song "Happy Feet"] You know, on the show that wasn't funny. The Muppet Show . Muppets: [singing] It was in Vaudeville and he was on the bill with all the singers, dancers, acrobats and clowns. Rowlf: And that's how it was the day Kid Fozzie came to town. Sure. Kermit the Frog: [shouting] I am not kidding! Waldorf: Either way, we're sitting around looking at garbage. But there's nothing really quite like a good bit of diesel tractor where you chip and pave, is there? How'd you like it? I've never talked to a frog before. Fozzie Bear: Alright, listen, you will know when I point to you. Hey, hey, folks, this is a story you gotta love to hear! Arnold Stockman: Well, it was about a week ago. Kermit: Oh, thank you. 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